On a solo trip, a Manila girl discovers the kindness of strangers

Growing up in Manila, I was told not to trust strangers. They can con you, pick your pocket or give you poisoned candy. I’ve long wielded this wariness of people as a shield, and this has served me well as a single, cautious woman traveling solo. Yet lately, I’ve had to reevaluate this advice.

In southern France, I had to take a train from Avignon to Peypin, a town 100km away. At the station, my friend insisted that I memorize her instructions. A woman who introduced herself as Sonia, overhearing our conversation, jumped in and said she was headed there too and would make sure I didn’t get lost.

As the train rumbled off, I engaged in small talk – not easy for an introvert with trust issues. “Your earrings are beautiful,” I said. I soon learned that Sonia was in town for work. “I just exorcised bad spirits from a house,” she said nonchalantly, her business card declaring her a “spirit warrior and psychic”.

She regaled me with stories of her gift for seeing spirits, and how it had been handed down in her family for generations. As we approached Peypin, she gave me a hug. “I’m very glad I met you,” she said. She took off her silver dangle earrings, saying, “I want you to have this. Now I’ll always be with you.”

Near the George Washington Bridge in New York, I was trying to hail a cab while lugging my suitcase. An elderly man approached me. “You’ll have more chances of getting a taxi down the road,” he said, but upon learning that I was headed to Sutton Place in Midtown, suggested I take a bus instead. “You’ll need to pay with coins. Do you have a dollar?”

There’s the rub, I thought; he wants to con me out of a buck, which I gave him anyway. He went into a convenience store, then out he came with four quarters. “I’ll accompany you. I don’t want you to get lost.” He shepherded me onto the bus and carried my suitcase for me.

“I’m very glad I met you,” she said. She took off her silver dangle earrings, saying, “I want you to have this. Now I’ll always be with you”

I’ve continued to benefit from the thoughtfulness of strangers: A professor helped find my hotel’s street in a dodgy part of Paris; a woman shared her lunch with me during a long boat ride in Cagayan de Oro; a man on crutches found me a payphone on a rainy day in Ravenna.

Psychologists say trust is a beneficial social tool that helps us survive as a species. When trust levels are high, we become calmer and more cooperative. I’ve learned to trust people and pass on this kindness to others.

In Madrid, where I now live, I walked a 90-year-old woman home. In Copenhagen, I lifted a baby’s stroller up flights of stairs. It’s not for altruistic reasons – I just want to make sure I continue to receive good travel karma.

These days, when I have to choose between trust and distrust, my experiences tip me towards the former. After all, things didn’t go calamitously wrong when I had faith in people; in fact, they turned out surprisingly right.